Crypt1c’s no bullshit team review

3 min readMar 30, 2020


Sup nerds. I’m here with the good, the bad (inno), and the ugly from team DOTA Rehab. I’m not gonna sugar coat shit because blogs saying “x player was really nice he just needs to stfu during draft, but he’s a really nice guy” are fucking stupid. So anyway…

I’ll start with why I believe our team didn’t perform as well as I would have expected this season.
I went into this season with high hopes. I had an extensive background with the core players on my team and thought we would win through the power of friendship. Man was I wrong.

Everyone had different opinions on what needed to be done. There was no clear direction in anything that was said in team chat. Everyone had different opinions, and I feel like the majority of our coaching advice was ignored.

Moving on…

This is where we get into the player specific parts. I’m not saying these things to hurt feelings, but if it does I suppose you guys just need to nut up and deal with it like men. This does not mean I won’t ever stack with you, but I don’t care about what your egos have to say. We’ll do this numbered based on position.

  1. Inno

Inno has a pub based mentality. He assumes all his teammates are mouth breathing chimps and any sort of team based draft should not be used with him on the team. He excels in 4 protect 1 strategies, but if you want to pick a deathball lineup with a lycan or visage, expect to see him farming in the jungle when you’re pushing T3 at 20 mins.

2. Caff

Caff was the player who decided how our series would go. You might think this is a good thing, but it’s not. If we 2–0 someone it’s not because we stomp them. It’s because caff had a good lane and HE stomped them. You might think this is not a binary situation…. well you’re wrong. Caff either stomps the lane or he gives up and absolutely murders team morale. I’m talking to the point where he just says 15 mins into the game that he doesn’t care anymore and wants to forfeit game 2.
In a game with comeback mechanics like DOTA I literally cannot understand this mindset. Even if there were no comeback mechanics you’re really willing to waste the time of 5 other people based on how you play your lane? Come on man…

3. Me/Boxes?

I’m not going to analyze myself. I know I’m much worse than I was before I went on hiatus, but I’ll leave my evaluation to my teammates.

I have nothing bad to say about boxes. Despite our chances of winning being terrible in various situations he was always the first to ask what the plan was and volunteer to fill for whatever positions we needed. I guess if I could offer constructive criticism it would be to cut down on unnecessary banter while in game. It makes it harder to use comms.

4. Slizeey

Slizeey is a lad with high hopes, and I feel bad saying this, but there is little to no chance he plays a core role without improving MMR. I have no doubt it’s his best role in his bracket, but he just can’t handle the high archon/legend mids you’ll run into in this league. His anecdotal experiences while playing mid in the sub 1k bracket have nothing to do with actual LD2L matches. If you read this, I really hope you can gain some MMR and become a competitive LD2L core. Also it would help to cut down on unnecessary banter as well.

5. Me/Poxie

Everyone has bad shit to say about poxie and I really don’t understand why. He was never the one to tilt in any of our games. I think a lot of his ideas aren’t necessarily right, but I can see where he’s coming from, and it makes a bit of sense. Despite what others may think, poxie was one of the few who would try to rally us after a won teamfight. He is objective oriented, whether it may or may not be the right objective.

If you’ve read this far it means you lost the game. Fuck you.